insecurities

It started a couple weeks ago when I overheard my husband tell a friend that I was not obese, but I am fat and it bothers him.  (For over a decade I have been the same weight and a solid size 12.  In the past 3 years I have gained 5 pounds.  Some of my pants are a little tighter around the waist.)  Of course I cannot fit in my wedding dress thanks to genetics, several pregnancies, and menopause.

I can justify lots of things in my mind, but that comment still made me a little depressed.

Every other day the next week, husband decided to tell me that I must be stupid.  One of the times he told me that was when I was trying to think of a polite response to an unkind comment he had made.  I didn’t just want to blurt out the first thing that popped into my mind.

Even though I have several academic honors, can beat the pants off him in a Scrabble game, and can fix stuff around the house that he cannot, I was still bummed out by his comments.

The song that kept popping into my head was from Casting Crowns:  Oh my soul you are not alone, there’s a place where fear has to face the God you know…”   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjNZf878ISQ

My insecurities are really a form of fear.   To get over them I needed to rediscover some of the depth of the love that God has for me.  Would I let the opinion of my husband mean more to me than the facts laid out in the Bible?

I am greatly loved!

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