Yesterday I stopped by the house of a friend to give my condolences of his wife’s death. Then I found out from his neighbors that he had actually died the week before his wife. Well, I was a bit shocked for, even though they were both in their 80s, he was in much better overall health than his wife.
“Why him and not my husband?” was one of the first thoughts running through my mind. This man was an alcoholic. He was 20 years older than my husband which likely gave him more overall years of abusing his body, but he only had 4-5 drinks a day compared to the 10-20 that my husband does. This morning I still wonder why my husband is alive and can he please die soon.
I know that my perspective yesterday and again this morning is mostly due to fatigue. I am physically tired and mentally stretched with all that I need to do for school.
The song running through my brain this morning as I woke up was Matt Redman’s “10,000 Reasons” reminding me to look at the big picture and get my focus on God and all that He has done for me. I was having a really hard time until I remembered a conversation I had last Sunday. One of my friends (named Redmon) felt that God wanted her to remind me of some truth: that He is slow to act for He desires that nobody perishes. At the time we did not know why that particular aspect of God’s character was important and singled out. It sure does fit with my thought processes today.
So, here I am, still tired, still no caffeine yet, still not quite ready to take on my schoolwork. But, resting peacefully for I know that God is with me on this journey.
In the past, He prompted Redman to write a song based on scripture (https://scriptureand.blogspot.com/2017/08/bible-verses-for-10000-reasons.html). Last week He prompted Redmon to remind me of specific Bible verses. Both to converge onto today when I need to be reminded of what is true.