This past week was the beginning of a new school term, so, just like 3 out of the 4 last terms, my husband had another near-death experience. He was barely eating, could hardly walk, and was sleeping 18 hours a day. His body showed physical signs of shut-down. The suddenly, after a couple days, he did his whack-a-mole imitation and popped right back to his normal state.
Now, I did not think that I was stressed out. I was able to get all my assignments done and actually work ahead in each class. I did grieve a little because I honestly thought my husband would not live much longer. I was looking forward to new school experiences, new information to learn, and seeing my classmates. I felt relaxed, but could not get my heart to beat normally. Later that day, I went to the local hospital emergency room.
Heart problems run in my family, in fact, I am the only one not on heart medication. When I started having symptoms of what could be a heart attack, my son drove me to the ER. Several hours later, I am told that my heart is a bit erratic, but I am not in any danger at this time. Just to be sure, I need to wear a 48 hour monitor, which I have on as I type.
Moving around this morning I started feeling stiffness and discomfort in my rib area. Am I dehydrated? Am I just needing to stretch out because I didn’t sleep well? I don’t think that I am stressed out about school or husband. I took out my stethoscope to listen. My heart was dancing instead of marching. Breathe deep. Remind myself of what the doctor said.
Still was a bit concerned so I got my Bible out and said, “God, I need to hear from you today”. I love the psalms so I flipped my Bible open towards the middle section. While scanning the page, I came across phrases such as “Will the foe revile your name…” and “They smashed all the carved paneling…”. I thought, “This isn’t exactly what I wanted to read”. Then I looked at the very top of the page.
“but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”
I had to laugh. Of course God would tell me something about my heart when that was the biggest concern I had running through my mind this morning. I can relax because God’s got this.